SEATTLE, WA — As Sound Transit has officially launched the new connection between downtown Seattle and Mercer Island and our local homeless population couldn’t be more thrilled! Often-overlooked, Sound Transit’s popular demographic of regional commuters, homeless drug addicts, are excited to ride the new connection.
“This is huge,” said Trevor, a local heroin addict. “I’ve never been to Mercer Island, and now my friends and I will be able to visit!”
Trevor said he had previously considered visiting the affluent suburb but was discouraged by the lack of convenient public transportation.
“I don’t have a car,” he explained.
That problem is now solved!
For the first time, light rail riders are now able to travel directly from downtown Seattle across Lake Washington to Mercer Island, opening the island’s quiet residential neighborhoods, parks, and commercial district to an entirely new demographic of visitors.
Mercer Island residents also expressed enthusiasm about the increased connectivity.
“I think public transportation is incredibly important,” said Mercer Island resident and transit activist Jennifer D., who currently lives with her parents.
“It reduces emissions, gets cars off the road, and makes our communities more accessible.”
When asked what her parents thought about making their community more accessible, Jennifer declined to comment, stating that they were “literal fascists” and that it wasn’t really their house anyway because it was “built on stolen land.”
Sound Transit officials emphasized that the new connection will benefit people from all walks of life by making it easier to travel throughout the region without a car.
“That’s what I love about public transit,” Trevor said watching the train pull up. “It’s for everybody.”