OLYMPIA, WA — In an ambitious effort to increase tax revenue, Washington lawmakers announced Thursday that the minimum wage will be raised to $1 million per year, officially making every full-time worker in the state a millionaire
The groundbreaking proposal comes just days after Washington approved a new 9.9% tax on income above $1 million.
“For too long, Washington’s millionaires haven’t been paying their fair share,” said one Democrat lawmaker. “The problem is we don’t have enough of them.”
Under the new plan, that problem is expected to disappear almost immediately.
Cashiers, baristas, janitors, landscapers, and every teenager working at Dairy Queen will become millionaires overnight, dramatically expanding the state’s pool of wealthy taxpayers.
Framing it as a “win-win” Democrat party leaders said the policy represents a rare opportunity to simultaneously fight income inequality and increase taxes on the rich.
“Every Washingtonian deserves the opportunity to succeed,” said another supporter. “And, after we tax those making $2 million, we may finally start seeing progress.”
Small-business owners initially expressed concerns about the proposal after learning that employing four people would now cost more than $4 million per year.
State officials quickly dismissed those concerns.
“If businesses can’t afford to pay a living wage, maybe they shouldn’t be in business,” one official explained.
Economists also raised questions about whether paying everyone $1 million might cause inflation or otherwise diminish the purchasing power of $1 million.
Lawmakers said they had already anticipated that problem.
“We’ll just raise the minimum wage again.”
At press time, Washington officials were reportedly considering increasing the minimum wage to $2 million or $3 million, creating thousands of new multimillionaires.